Sunday, July 12, 2015

Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome!

Hello and welcome to I'm Beautiful, Dammit!

This is a blog about not only looking beautiful, but feeling beautiful every day.

At first, I wanted to start a blog to catalog my extensive nail polish collection just for fun, and for people like me who love checking out all the different colors out there, but then I realized that there are so many wonderful nail polish blogs around, and since I'm very new to the game, and have a limited budget (making it impossible for me to get every new collection that is released), I could easily get lost in the shuffle. So, I decided that I wanted to do something a little different with this blog.

I thought about what nail polish means to me, and how it has affected my life. If you are a lacquearhead, you know what I mean. To the outsider, it seems like such a strange obsession. We get a lot of "Do you really need 15 red nail polishes?" I can't tell you how many times a guest has come to my house, and their jaw dropped at the sight of my collection of nearly 400 colors. It seems crazy to some, but it's something that makes me feel good, and I get a lot of enjoyment out of doing my nails.

My Story
I was a longtime nail chewer. Didn't bite them, but I had the disgusting habit of chewing on them which made them weak, and therefore, I was never able to grow my own nails. Anytime a special occasion came up, it was off to the local drugstore for some press-ons, or if I wanted to get fancy, I would try my hand at doing my own acrylics. Today, I wouldn't be caught dead with those things on my nails. When I first got into nail polish, I only had about four colors to my name, and I was recovering from major surgery during Independence Day weekend, so I wanted to grab a some basic red, white, and blue polishes to have a little fun with my mani since I could do little else. I started out by trying to make stars and stripes on my nails, and as I started experimenting with nail art, I found that I needed more colors to try different designs, and thus, my obsession began!

My sad stash that started it all.

I should also mention, that a month later, I was thrown into a very deep depression. As I was recovering from surgery, our landlord decided not to renew our lease so he could move into our apartment. I lost my apartment, I lost funding for my graduate program, and I also lost my job all within the same time period. We ended up moving, and I hit the job search pretty hard, but it was definitely a tough time for our family. It seemed like nothing was going our way, and there was no end in sight. The only things I could do to make myself happy were going on tumblr and doing my nails, and in the process, I learned that I had forgotten how much I enjoyed writing, and how important self-care was. For me, it was about finding things that really make me feel good about myself. Creating something like a story of my own, a universe, was very fulfilling. Taking a couple hours to pamper myself by doing my nails, and enjoying the end product made me feel good about myself. There were times when I finally found a job, but it was incredibly stressful and hard on my body and my spirit, so taking the time to relax with an episode of Mad Men while I did my nails seemed like a mini-vacation. Sure, it's something small, but sometimes, when you're in the throes of depression, every little bit counts! Even when I had nothing, I had my nail polish.

They say if you look good, you feel good. Often, in this youth-obsessed culture with impossible beauty standards, it's hard to feel like we look good. We aren't all blessed with the perfect shape or hair, and we don't love every feature of our faces and bodies, but we should. We should learn to love ourselves, but sometimes it's difficult, and it is an ongoing process. So I say to you, as I say to myself: start small. Start with one thing you like about yourself and work it! Do something nice for yourself today. Do something you love. Try something you've always wanted to try. Make your surroundings beautiful. One step at a time. One day at a time. It's all part of the process, so trust that process.

Why I'm Here
Though my passion is nail polish, I also have a passion for many other things that I feel have helped me in my journey of feeling beautiful, and making my little corner of the world a little more beautiful, so I will be sharing all of it with you. I'm not a professional blogger. I'm not getting compensated by anyone. I'm just sharing my process with you, in hopes that you will get something out of it whether it be a good feeling for the day, or even just a place to look at beautiful things.

In this blog you will see:

Nail polish swatches, reviews & Nail art

Beauty & Body product reviews

Crafting & Hobby posts

Body positivity & Self-care posts

This is for me.
This is for you.
Love yourself.
Feel yourself.
Because you're beautiful, dammit!

Little Bee

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